Saturday, February 4, 2012

Week 3; Divide and Conquer.

On Monday, the first day back at work for me, the first day of my wife being alone with the needy shorty for a work day, I felt unbelievably guilty to leave. And I didn’t want to leave. My now deeply ingrained mission is to be with him and her…the family unit. I have roles to play you see, hands to utilize as needed.

But I had to leave the cave, go kill a wild boar, and drag it back home. I have to do that most days, in efforts to maintain high cave quality.

Upon returning after a mostly excellent, if mildly distracted, day at work, Tonya looks at me, smiles wanly, and hands me the baby. She washes her hands and face, and gets the hell out of the apartment. Smart girl. A long walk to a park near Chinatown (a hidden Chicago jewel) head-clearing alone time, a market errand that may or may not have had to happen just then. Tasks. Adult autonomy exercised. She returned happier, calmer, refreshed. And I in turn was able to feel useful, caring for him and allowing her to get back in touch with self.

I’m realizing how essential things like that are going to be. Divide and conquer. Give each other a break, ‘cause that dude is NEEDY. And growing fussier. We started keeping a log of eating times and amounts, sleeping times and amounts, and diaper changes. We’ve given up on logging the diaper changes…they’re just too plentiful. That man craps his pants better than anyone I’ve ever met, including my Uncle Sully. I mean, really skilled. And oh the varietals. Details spared.

Sleep in increments of 2 or 2.5 hours max is quite something, huh? We'll give each other a break and get 5 sometimes...and that feels other worldly. Friends tell me it gets better. Honest friends tell me it doesn't, and that you just..get used to it. It's amazing, our human ability to assimilate to absolutely anything. We're really well built organisms.

On Wednesday I had a Tributosaurus sound check, and then we did 2 gigs as Stevie Wonder.

This is C-Mo, not on stage.

This is Jon Paul, similarly not on stage.

Rubin knows people.

Need to get Danny over here, and then the whole core will have held shorty.

Tonya miraculously came to the first show, with the trusted first babysitter being Aunt Adrienne. It had to be family first, or it wouldn't have even happened at all. Pretty amazing that my wife came out sans child at 18 days old, but again..must feed the self, and the relationship. Grab that oxygen mask from the top of the plane for yourself before giving one to your child.

So, she came, looked gorgeous, hung out, then went home. Successful journey into the world.

I was gone for a total of 11 hours, got home at 3, and couldn't stop looking at this little man. He looked completely different than when I'd left earlier in the day. His head is rounder, fuller. His face is evolving, looking less Chinese and a bit more mature. I missed serious development. He was potty trained, and skilled at Algebra.

I mean my god, is that going to happen every time? Cue the damn Harry Chapin music if it's going to feel like that.

Still much to learn. Feel like we're kind of just winging it, keeping homeboy alive, giving him love, and trying to survive. But maybe that's the way these first three months feel no matter what. We've got the books and resources to guide us, and will dive in more as we sleep better.

Pretty content right now to stare into his face as much as possible.

The best times are when he's just been changed, just eaten, and doesn't feel sleepy just yet. Needs are met, so he might as well hang out and look around. (Video below) He makes a million faces, and they're all really big. A bit over the top truthfully, like Jim Carrey on In Living Color. Tone it down kid, learn some subtlety.

Due time.

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